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Basically I just post whatever I wanna post here.



Every time I'm thinking about my grandma, I feel like spontaneously booking a flight to her home.
Every damn day I pray that God protect her each second, fill her heart with happiness, keep her healthy, wash away all her worries and sorrows.
Some random day, I worried sick that I can loose her suddenly, which always bring me river of tears and paranoia, then I pray to God that I can be by her side when she leaves this world.
I don't think I can love anyone else this much. And I don't think anyone can content my heart the way she does.

I love you so much, Eyangti. Please be healthy and may God granted you a long happy life.



It's been a while since my real last blog post.
Well to be honest, I don't really have a target whatsoever for this blog,
it feels like I will wrote whenever and whatever I wanna write,
no deadline nor border.

Anyway, I feel like going on with my "currently" post, so here we go..

Thanks to my office mate, Christy, now I'm on Spotify, and through this apps I explore more music than my usual same old same old. On daily basis at the office I sometimes explore some new music directed by Spotify weekly, but on my seeking-for-comfort time like before sleep or while on travel, I still digging for the ultimate comfort my same old same old playlist never failed to serve. I feel not well since five days ago, with heavy flu and tons of deadlines and works, I played Coldplay's U.F.O. on loop since this morning.

Movies & Series.
It's been a loooong time of no movies and series for me. I was so drawn on works and my exercise schedule. Most time, I feel so tired that my spare minutes only covers some Youtube videos and Instagram posts for leisure. Been cravings to watch GIRLS since it's their final season, also to watch Beauty and the Beast for no reasons beside my heavy fancy-ing on children movies.
Anyway I just realized after strolling along my old blogpost (now already closed) on some movie reviews, I remember my fondness on movies like Happiness, The Station Agent, The Squid and The Whale, Savages, etc. and I find it hard to find those kind of movies these days. IMDB recommendation don't do much, so I definitely need some movies recommendation.
Oh, for reference I watched Manchester by the Sea last time and fall so hard for the stories and visuals, I think that kind of movie will do for me.

I just had a quick trip to Solo for a cousin's wedding. And as always, this city never fails to capture my heart. I feel like I don't wanna leave. This strange feelings left in my heart after each visit, like a lost and vast hope. Weird, but true. I feel so hazy rite now.

To accompany me on my trip to Solo, I brought my brand new Nh Dini - Dari Ngalian ke Sendowo book. And I feel like "finally I found the right book". So since December I've been drowned and fascinated by Murakami's books. I keep reading his books since I feel like finally I find something that makes me feel like I don't wanna stop reading. But since January I promise myself not to buy new books before I finish all my unread books, in short I read all my Murakamis but cannot purchase another Murakami, and I find all the books I purchased not so interesting. Till that Nh Dini book.
Yesterday when I visit Gramedia, I look for another Nh Dini book (well, I know, I'm not supposed to buy another book before finish all those unread books, but Indonesian books area sooo cheap, I think one book will do no harm ;p ), but sadly they don't have Nh Dini books anymore. So sad, I think I have to search on book market.

Well, I think that's all for now. I wish I can write more often since there area actually so many thoughts flying inside my head.


About 2016.

2016 holds a lot of feelings in my hearts.

I remember walked into this year with regret, the feelings stayed for quite a long time, buried my soul in the mud of the unanswerable "what if".

Then somehow in the middle, everything was a sheer of cloud, the gloomy feeling still there but most of the time, the sun shine right through and warm the surface up.

The end of the year was the one where finally, after all the so perfectly planned journey, I feel like being footloose for once, trying a sip of youth. Which ended with nothing but chaos.

Overall, I think 2016 had taught me pretty great lessons, and opened my eyes upon how wonderfully tragical and beautifully weird beings are.

I know that the year haven't ended just yet, but somehow I just wish that it will be remain this way till the very end, because I can't measure how many extra mile I can really bare.

And for the weirdest reason of all, I believe 2017 will be nothing but golden sparks.


people who came up with the idea
of waking people up by turning off the aircon
is the most evil of all.



be patience. be kind.

when i'm really* angry, i believe in keeping everything inside my heart and my head, think about it through and through, talk to God about it over prayers, try to untangle all the cluttered problems and feelings one by one; and usually, in the end of the day, with the help of God and the fact that karma is a real bitch, everything will be just come to my favor.

i know that some might say "just let loose, just be mad," well, believe me i'm trying once or more, but i find it not the best way, to counter all those anger and dissapointment with more anger that will dissapoint more people. besides, i feel like anything that makes me really angry is always a good hardship that shaped me into a better person, a more experienced being.

and also, i believe in the greatest impact of every tiny things we do to other people's life. i don't wanna be the one who crushes someone else's life.

so, i really find patience as a virtue, and i'll drown myself in it. because in the end of the day, we will reap what we sow.

*note the word really because when i'm just angry usually i'll be a roaring lion ;p